All About Care Giver

Okay, so you’re your Mom’s caregiver. Or your Dad’s. Or your Grandma’s. And, though you’re a bit scared, you’re going to do your best.

Wonderful! But have you chosen the right best to do? Are your choices even possible? Let’s take a look, shall we?

Your Five Best Bests:
1. You are going to fight back your Mom’s dementia.

Bad choice. It would be good if you could, but I’ve done this for 20 years and I can tell you, you can’t fight dementia. Leave that to doctors and researchers and drug companies. They have the time, the money and it’s what they’re supposed to do.

Good choice would be to simply have a good day together. Leave the impossible to others. You can’t stop dementia and your job is caregiving.

2. You’re going to keep reminding your Mom about facts so that she can stay on track today.

Bad choice. Remember, your Mom has dementia which means she can’t remember. It means she does not have the supporting brain cell structure now to remember.

Trying to make her remember is like trying to make a paralyzed man walk. Leave that to divine intervention and meanwhile, try to have a relaxed and pleasant day.

3. You’re going to take your Mom over to the senior center so she can see all her old friends again.

Hmm. Maybe good, but often not. People with dementia often withdraw more from social life and it usually isn’t because they are depressed from isolation. It’s because they are so overwhelmed by too many people, too much talking and too little ability to understand everything that it’s actually upsetting.

Try it, but if it doesn’t work, don’t push it. It’s not like taking your little one to daycare — where eventually he’ll be okay. He has brain power to grow on, your Mom is not in that position.

4. You’re going to orient your Mom to time, day, date, year and place throughout the day because that will help her.

a) Good luck on that;

b) If she doesn’t FEEL that it is today, this year, this place, you are unlikely to be able to persuade her and more likely to puzzle, upset and bewilder her.

Just let go of that. It’s not as important as you seem to think. What IS important is that you create a day that is enjoyable, easy and stress-free for your Mom.

5. You’re going to keep you Mom on her toes by asking memory questions.

Bad caregiver! Bad!

Okay, I wasn’t going to do this, but you made me, okay? Like you, I wanted to save people I cared about from their disease and today I can tell you, I just made them miserable. I didn’t realize that for quite a while. It took me a long time to let go of my ambitions on their behalf and settle for a more enjoyable day. I lowered my expectations and I raised our joy factor tremendously. And if right now you don’t value the joy factor, that’s because you’re the same rigid control-freak I was. We create dual misery tracks as caregivers.

My Best Bests for You:
1. Remember, you are a caregiver, so care! It will take all your time just to do that;
2. Learn dementia;
3. Supply all info necessary to reduce stress;
4. Find fun things to do;
5. Involve your person in doing daily tasks with you, if they’re willing, and don’t be picky about the results.

If you aren’t having fun, guaranteed your Mom is not.

Posted on April 23rd, 2010 by Peter
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Taking care of an elderly parent can be a Jekyll and Hyde experience for family caregivers.

On the one hand providing care to an aging parent can be very rewarding. It brings the caregiver adult child and their parent closer together. On the other hand, increasing responsibilities ramp up caregiver stress and heightens tension within the family. Anxiety and worry increase when the caregiver is maintaining a job, caring for his or her own children, leads an active social life, and must travel to care for the elderly relative.

The tasks of caregiving – running errands, cooking, cleaning, home maintenance, taking your mom or dad to doctors – appointments often exacts both an emotional and physical toll on the caregiver. In fact the pressures of caregiving are so great that 58% of caregivers show symptoms of clinical depression.

Pay attention to how you are feeling. To be an effective caregiver to your aging parent means staying alert to the warning signs of excess stress. Some of the common signs of caregiver stress include:

Feelings of sadness Moodiness Excessive crying Low energy Feeling isolate Difficulty sleeping Over and under eating Withdrawal from family and/or friends Excessive wait gain or loss Anger towards the care recipient or other family members

These signs are leading indicators of depression. Depression impacts not only your ability to care for someone else, it harms your mental and physical health, too. If you feel you need more help, you’re not alone. According to a study by Home Instead, the national in-home, elderly companionship and home care company, three out of every ten family caregivers agree they could use more help.

Six Tips That Manage Stress and Avoid Caregiver Burnout

Hire professional, non-medical caregiving assistance to give you important relief from the daily demands on you. Ask your family and friends to help. It’s less expensive than hiring someone and you know the qualify of care your parent will get. Get informed about your elderly parents condition. Contact disease specific support groups. They offer a wealth of information to help you understand what is happening to your loved one and what to expect in the future. Most have active caregiver support groups that can help you better cope with increasing stress. Get your loved one assessed. A geriatric care manager can provide an accurate needs assessment of your loved one. Doing so extends your caregiving abilities, can conserve family resources, and often helps prevent the need of a nursing home. Learn stress-management exercises such as yoga or tai-chi. The exercise is good for your overall health and the emphasis on inner balance and relaxation is good for your mental well-being. Take a break. Caring for an elderly parent is a job. Getting away from the daily grind allows you to recharge yourself. Make arrangements to take a few days off and arrange for help with family and friends, volunteers from church or professional caregivers.

Caregiver burnout is avoidable. To manage caregiver stress requires proactively taking care of yourself while taking care of your aging parent.

Posted on April 17th, 2010 by Peter
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The caregiver must possess some basic traits to excel in this field of endeavor, which mainly requires good patient care and communication skills in order to understand effectively the patient’s needs. Knowledge of first aid including administering of CPR (Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation), observance of hygiene and of course proper hospital procedures is necessary.

You can achieve all of these through proper training; however, one of the most important traits of a caregiver that is more inherent than attained is the trait of maturity and responsibility. This also encompasses friendly and helpful disposition towards the patient, relatives and colleagues within the institution.

Posted on April 10th, 2010 by Peter
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So here you are, caregiver to Dad. Or Mom. Or even Auntie Eunice. You never thought you’d do it. You’re not quite sure you want to even now. But here you are.

Well done, you. Give yourself a really big pat on the back, or get your Mom, your dad or Auntie Eunice to help with that. Soooooooo, how’s it going?

Did you designate yourself for the job? That’s great. Even if you were sort of semi-blackmailed and kid of gave in, good for doing this. Now, let me share with you some of the rules that other people have come up with. You don’t have to have them all, and you may choose other ones, but here’s a few to think about.

Rules for the Designated Caregiver:
1. You make the daily decisions;
2. You get the monthly budget to handle for everything involving care and your needs;
3. You get an allowance for what you do. And, no, free board and lodging is not payment. Just for reference, being the only caregiver is, depending, at least $3,000 out on the realworld market;
4. You go the the medical appointments, even if other family members go too. Because you know what goes on really with the person you care for. No-one else really does;
5. You get regular time off;
6. You get treated with respect.

These are a minimum. Don’t settle for less. Now what can you do to keep life okay for you, as well as the person you care for. Try these guidelines.

Guidelines for the Designated Caregiver:
1. You put yourself first, in a good way;
2. You educate yourself about your person’s health issues;
3. You learn how to become calm, relaxed and non self-blaming;
4. You get a support community around you — spiritual community, support group, friends, on-line friends;
5. Keep a journal so you always have someone to listen.

You’re a caregiver to an older person. Make friends with death. Learn about it, maybe attend a hospice training. Wonderful for heart and spirit, I promise you. Never tell yourself you couldn’t bear it if Mom died — she will. We all will. With normal statistics at work, your person will die before you. Don’t be afraid to think about it. It’s really okay. You’ll manage. You’ll see. Do bring in hospice when you think the time may be approaching — not within days, but within months.

You’re a person too. maybe your daily life is more constrained than it was. Running Lehman’s into the ground would definitely have been more exciting than walking the final walk with Mom. So, take this time to do things you didn’t have time for before.

Learn that language — what was it? Oh yes, Swahili. Well, this is certainly the time. Study art from dvds and teaching courses. Learn to paint. Cook. Do tai chi. There’s dvds for everything now.

Read. Write. Sing. Dance. Really the great thing about a caregiving day is you can do anything you want to do, more or less. As long as no blood is shed. Actually, to be honest, it’s almost even better if your Mom actually has dementia because people with dementia don’t really judge what we caregivers do.

Believe me there, I do know what I’m talking about. So, heck, go for it.

Posted on March 30th, 2010 by Peter
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Communication goes on in many ways: exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, as by speech, signals, writing or behavior. It is no surprise that most families develop a special and unique communications style. When we talk to our family members, not only do we search for signs of love, but we also look for signs of disapproval. When families come together for making decisions about the care of their parent, they may need to develop or reframe their communication skills.

Here are five ways to improve family communications:

1. Realize the family is a hierarchical institution. There is power of a parent over a child, of an older brother or sister over a younger one. There are shifting alliances between siblings.
As the parent ages, there is a reversal of the roles of helper and helped, and this can be disconcerting. Strive to find the balance so that the needs of one person do not impinge on the actions of the other.

2. Understand the power of being a good listener. Whether you are the caregiver or care-receiver, in most families we want someone to listen to us and to really understand what we are thinking, understanding, and saying. It is not unusual for family members to realize they have never really known very much about real feelings and values of each other. When we concentrate more on listening attentively, our relationships improve, and so do our communications.

3. Learn to be a good speaker who can clearly express ideas and feelings AND help the listener to hear the message. You can improve your odds of getting your message across if you use I statements rather than You statements. A family member is more likely to continue conversation if you say, I feel upset when you _________ instead of You make me upset when you _____________.

4. Become a problem solver. This does not mean just coming up with the answer, it also means finding a solution. Be realistic in your expectations. Allow siblings to help in ways they are able. Keep them informed and included in the caregiving process.

5. Show appreciation and gratitude. Human nature tells us that people respond favorably to those who show them genuine appreciation and gratitude. Just a simple thank you or apology can go a long way. Make a decision to make a positive impact on those around you.

If poor family communication is hindering your decision making process, it may be a good idea to hold a family meeting with a formal decision making process. You may have to enlist the help of an outside facilitator.

Posted on March 28th, 2010 by Peter
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When the time comes for a senior to need additional care services in their home or in an assisted living community, you will have the option of hiring a senior home care agency to provide the services or finding an independent caregiver to hire directly.

Which is the right choice?It is far better to hire a quality senior home care agency to provide care services unless you are the rare individual who has adequate insurance coverage along with a care support team of family and friends to help direct and support the independent caregiver and provide back-up care when they need a day off.

Senior care is far different from child care. A family can successfully hire a nanny as an independent contractor to care for their children. This is because the parents are there every morning and every evening to supervise and monitor the care. In addition, the parents make sure the children understand the nanny is in charge. It isn’t the same with senior care. There is usually no one else supervising the care. Seniors are older than their caregivers and because of this, sometimes do not choose to easily cooperate. When memory loss and other illnesses are present, the senior can become extremely difficult. They may know they need care but still be emotionally resistant. This creates a problem for the caregiver and for the family.

A senior home care agency solves this issue by providing a supervisor or case manager to manage the care and support the caregiver. They also provide a substitute caregiver when the regular caregiver needs a day off. And even more vital, the senior care agency is available for the caregiver to call when difficult situations arise (the senior won’t take their medications, the senior won’t take a shower, the senior won’t let the caregiver in) or when they have survived a trying day (especially important when caring for seniors with Alzheimer’s Disease).

This additional team support manages caregiver burnout and stress. It also prevents the negative situations which can develop when care issues are not addressed by a third party. Unlike child care, senior care involves managing many life issues such as dealing with the death of loved ones, adapting to new medical conditions and coming to terms with the aging process. And just as special training in children’s education makes for a better nanny, special training in caring for specific age-related diseases makes for a better caregiver.

Senior home care agencies provide training and supervision for their caregivers. They also create a Care Plan for the daily routine to make sure the correct needs are being addressed. The care manager can also address changes in medical conditions to the family members to make sure the senior has appropriate doctors, medical equipment and other services to make their situation as comfortable as possible.

Another challenge with a direct-hire independent contractor is insurance and tax issues. Most home owner policies are limited in covering employees in the home. There are people who seek out work with seniors who know the opportunities that exist. One senior client my agency began care services for had previously hired an independent contractor caregiver who had been with her for more than a year. The senior was a widow with no family living nearby. Over the course of the year, the caregiver took out credit cards in the seniors name and used them for their own purchases. The invoices went to the financial manager who did not question them. The caregiver took many liberties with the petty cash purchases and the client’s care was not their main concern. I have many more stories of starting care after a hire-direct had first been hired. Some families believe they will save money by negotiating a lower hourly fee, but this is rarely the case. Another client my thought they were paying their independent caregiver less than the agency fee but it turned out the caregiver would take $20 every time they ran a grocery store errand and charge the senior an extra fee for laundry and transportation. Many opportunities exist when no active management is involved.

Many people who hire nannies as independent contractors use a nanny agency for some of the same protections a senior home care agency offers. Maria Katris, owner of Nanny Boutique, says “Many clients repeatedly told me the value of using a nanny agency was in the background check, screening of the nanny candidate and access to additional resources such as our tax information. There is simply one more layer of assurance before allowing someone to work in your home with your loved ones. Furthermore, our clients were very aware of the tax liability involved in hiring a domestic employee and did not want to risk their careers by not paying taxes. We aided them in achieving this goal through education and partnership with a domestic employee tax company.”

It is important to be cautious of “free” background checks. Usually such checks are just a name and address match to a social security number. If a website is advertising a free background check, be sure there is another fee they are charging to pay for this service as a solid criminal background check will cost at least $15 and a thorough background check will be closer to $100. Caregiverlist.com explains background check laws by state and what is typically included in a check.

A senior home care agency, as an employer of the caregiver, provides insurance protection and takes care of all the payroll taxes, as required by law. Worker’s Compensation Insurance will cover on-the-job injuries (they do happen – dog bites, falls, back injuries). As an employee, the caregiver also has added benefits, including being able to collect unemployment benefits if they are laid off, collecting social security benefits when they retire and other agency benefits such as health insurance, training, team support and bonuses. The agency will also carry professional liability insurance and a fidelity bond to cover theft or financial loss.

Posted on March 12th, 2010 by Peter
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The position of caregiver entails a responsibility for giving companionship, support and care to generally an elderly patient. Common responsibilities tied with the position are preparation and presentation of meals, support not only for physical but hygienic needs as well with other expected support depending on the caregiver position.

The caregiver position is not an easy task and generally requires a genuine desire to dedicating themselves to making a difference in the lives of other people requiring their attention and care. Salary of the caregiver position ranges from $7 to $15 an hour based on the attached responsibility, experience and extent of patient care required.

Posted on March 10th, 2010 by Peter
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Finding the right caregiver to take care of your loved is not always an easy task. Here are some key interview questions to help you get started. Be sure to take notes during the interview. Always check the references of at least two final applicants. Do not wait too long to make the offer, as good applicants may find another job. If the offer is accepted, the caregiver and the in-home helper should set a date to sign the contract and begin work. Both employer and employee should keep a copy of the contract.

1. Name, address, home phone number, cell phone number, and the best time to call.
2. Do you smoke?
3. Do you have a driver’s license? If yes, do you have reliable transportation and insurance? How far from here do you live?
4. Do you have any CPR or first-aid training? Do you have any formal caregiving training?
5. Do I have your permission to run a background check?
6. What type of position are you looking for? After reviewing our job description, is this the type of position you are looking for?
7. Can you perform the duties required for this position?
8. Are you comfortable with pets?
9. Are you able to work the hours needed?
10. When are you available to start working?
11. Do you have any medical conditions to prevent you from heavy lifting? Would you be able to transfer someone from a wheelchair into a car or onto a bed?
12. If we are delayed, go out of town, or go on vacation would you be able and willing to adjust your schedule?
13. Where was your last job? How long were you there? Why did you leave? May we contact your past employer? Please provide contact name, phone number, and email address.
14. If meal preparation is needed, what kind of food do you cook? Have you had experience cooking for other people
15. How do you feel about caring for an elderly/disabled person? Or a person with memory problems?
16. How do you handle people who are angry, stubborn, or fearful?
17. What type of diagnoses have you cared for?
18. Is there anything in the job description that you are uncomfortable doing?
19. Give an example of a difficult situation you handled with a client. For instance, how did you handle refusing to take a shower?
20. What time commitment are you willing to make to stay on the job?
21. Will you keep daily records? Do you know how to use a computer?
22. Why should I hire you?
23. Are you willing to sign a contract saying you will not accept money or gifts from my parents?
24. How will you keep the family informed?
25. Can you give me two work related and one personal reference?

When you hire a caregiver be sure to provide an employment application, W-4 tax Form, job description, and summary of the care-receiver’s condition. Ask the caregiver to provide written references, completed employment application, completed W-4 Form, and signed copy of job description, copy of driver’s license, car registration, and insurance.

Posted on March 5th, 2010 by Peter
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Depression in caregivers is very common. The complex role of many caregivers comes with several responsibilities that could create stress to them. They may have to give up their jobs, may experience social isolation, and have trouble coping with the diagnosis or experience psychological problems themselves. Their time to relax and time for their interests have decreased or lost. No matter how caregivers love their job or care for the people they look after, it is still possible that you experience low moods.

Low moods often develop into depression. Depression can be caused by many reasons. It could be a result of life situation, like stress or disease. Most of the times, depression is caused by uncontrollable stress. To get the clearer picture, let me give you an example. Anyone who is going through an unpleasant event, in which they think their efforts will not affect the result, can definitely stress you out. Caregivers are the ones most affected by situation like this. Caregiver depression is associated with the demand of their jobs. In the case of disease, such as Alzheimer’s, a patient may need constant attention from family members for a long period of time, resulting to an intrusion to a caregiver’s life.

You may regard caregiver depression as an extension of low moods that most caregivers experience at some points of their career. Depression has great effects to our lives in so many ways. It is important that you know what the symptoms for caregiver depression in order to get immediate attention before the condition worsen and lead to more interference in caregiver’s life or life-threatening situation. Here are the symptoms of caregiver depression:

* Feeling of intense sadness, anxiety, insensibility, guilt or a combination of all of them

* Recurring negative thoughts

* Inability to focus

* Loss of interest in people and the things around you

* Constant mood swings

* Experiencing thoughts of causing harm to yourself or to others

* Chronic fatigue

* Loss of interest in appearance

* Tend to get very agitated

* Loss of interest you once loved and enjoyed

* Experiencing changes of your sleep pattern

* Loss of appetite

* Gain or loss of weight

* Constipation

Because caregiver depression is associated with uncontrollable stress and is common that means you are not the only one suffering from this condition. And since, most types of depression is treatable, you have a great chance of regaining control of your life. So, don’t waste your life over anything and don’t let depression get into you. There are other people who need your care and attention, which is reason enough for you to get on your feet and overcome depression.

If you feel that no matter how you care about your patient and your efforts do not pay off in making your patients get better, and you feel sad, guilty, disappointed, or helpless, it only means one thing – you are under uncontrollable stress. It is what you call caregiver depression and it should be taken care of immediately in order for you to continue the job you love and enjoy doing. How can you offer and provide care if you, yourself, have an issue to resolve to. Not everything that happens within the scope of your job is your responsibility. I can’t stress this out as too much for you. A doctor who knows about depression is the one who can really help you with your problem in addition to your willingness to recover.

Posted on February 14th, 2010 by Peter
Filed under: Health And Fitness | Comments Off

First thing to do to understand the behavioral symptoms of people with AD is to try rationalizing the person’s behavior, which may be the result of the environmental factors of extreme weather conditions. Loud noises also affect the behavior of people afflicted with AD that may overwhelm them due to the excessive stimulation from the noisy environment.

A common reason for the display of behavioral symptoms is that they cannot express a need that like hunger, thirst, pain or the need to go to the bathroom. Sometimes people with AD get easily irritated when they cannot get nor do things that they want which results in a behavioral display that can be misinterpreted.

Posted on February 10th, 2010 by Peter
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