All About Care Giver

Taking care of a spouse, parent, or other family member or friend is not an easy task.?Being their caregiver takes devotion and balance to make sure that you take care of their needs, as well as your own.?There are seven things that every caregiver should know to be able to take care of their needs and that of their family member or friend.

1.??? Allow your friend or family member to do everything that they are able to do.?This is very important, as it gives them some control over their life. Being a caregiver does not mean taking complete control over them and treating them as a child. ?If they are still able to bathe and take care of other personal needs, then let them do so as long as they are able. They will have a better frame of mind and have a better attitude. ?This is better for you and for them.?

2.??? Establish a relationship with a doctor that your family member and you trust and feel comfortable with.?Being a caregiver does not necessarily mean that you are a medical professional.?Unless you are in the medical profession, there are things that you may not understand about taking care of your patient and their disease or condition.?Having a doctor that will take the time to answer your questions and assist you when needed is a very important relationship that every caregiver should take time to create.?

3.??? Take time for yourself.?It is very easy to live life day to day giving care to your friend or family member without taking time for yourself, only to find yourself burnt out and tired.?Take time for yourself by arranging respite care with another family member or a respite care service can give you that time to recuperate and regain focus and energy.?This can be very important over a long illness, so that you are able to care for your friend or family member with compassion and dedication without burning out.

4.??? Understand that you may be on an emotional roller-coaster and if you are, that is okay.?A wide range of emotions occurs during the time of taking care of a family member or friend.?Sadness, anger, guilt, and resentment are just a few of the emotions that you may experience.?As long as these emotions are short-lived, accept them as a normal part of the caregiver’s life.?If you seem bogged down in an emotion or become depressed, you may want to get some counseling to help you deal with the stress of the situation.

5.??? Support groups can give you the support you need.?Most people shy away from support groups because they do not want to talk about what is going on in their life, but they can be a huge source of support for caregivers.?Join a support group to learn techniques for dealing with this change in your life.

6.??? Realize that your patient is going to have ups and downs, too.?Your friend or family member is going through an illness and this means that they are going through a range of emotions, too.?Understand that a blow-up at you may not really be about you, but about the illness that they are battling.?Support them in dealing with their illness on their own terms.

7.??? When you have done all that you can do, it may be time to get more specialized help.?This may mean that you have to find more specialized care in a nursing home.?When you are not able to take care of your family member or friend anymore, then you need to allow someone else to take care of them.?This does not mean that you are bad or uncaring.?It means that you are not able to care for them the way that you want.?This can be due to your age, health, or life situation.?If the help needed is beyond your capabilities, then get them the help that they need.?This is best for them and for you.

Being a caregiver may be for a short season of your life or a long one, but by considering the seven thoughts above, you can better take care of yourself and your friend or family member.?

Posted on October 12th, 2010 by Peter
Filed under: Home And Family | Comments Off

- Lack of control – Many caregivers become frustrated by a lack of resources, skills, and finances to effectively plan, manage, and organize their loved one’s care.

- Unreasonable demands – Some caregivers place unreasonable burdens upon themselves, in part because they see providing care as their exclusive responsibility. They try to do the work all on their own and do not seek others help as they feel that it would be too much a burden for others.

- Other factors – Many caregivers cannot recognize when they are suffering burnout and eventually get to the point where they cannot function effectively. They may even become sick themselves.

Posted on September 10th, 2010 by Peter
Filed under: Caregiving burnout | Comments Off

Caregivers often are so busy caring for others that they tend to neglect their own emotional, physical, and spiritual health. The demands on a caregiver’s body, mind, and emotions are very easy to overwhelm the person once not kept in check, leading to fatigue and hopelessness — and, ultimately, burnout. Other factors that can lead to caregiver burnout include:

- Role confusion – Caregivers find it difficult to separate their role as caregiver from their role as spouse, lover, child, friend, etc.

- Unrealistic expectations -Many caregivers expect that their actions will receive positive outcomes. This is not the case for progressive diseases.

Posted on August 10th, 2010 by Peter
Filed under: Caregiving burnout | Comments Off

When a parent allows you to be a caregiver for their children, you should do your very best to give them the same care that the children’s parents would give them. You are obligated to comply with their wishes in order to properly care for their children. Treat the child as you would if the child was your own, but always abide by the parents rules regarding discipline.

It is always a difficult choice to make when deciding on the correct, most responsible person to care for your children. Many times you may think you have found the perfect care giver only to find that they do everything differently than you and your spouse when it comes to caring for your children. You need someone with similar parenting styles as yourself so that the child does not become confused on the rules.

It is imperative that you discuss your expectations from the caregiver in caring for your children. You should have this discussion before you ever agree to leave your child with them. Simple things can make an enormous impact on your children’s lives, so you need to address the things that are important to you regarding your children’s care.

Although some things may be very important to you and your spouse, they may not even cross the mind of your caregiver, unless you let the caregiver know about them. For example, maybe you do not allow your children to eat candy, yet if your caregiver does not know this, they may give your children candy on occasion. Many parents do not allow their children to have soft drinks, so you need to make sure that the caregiver knows that you do not allow such things, otherwise, you should not be too upset when they do allow your child to have one.

One of the most important subjects for you to discuss with your children’s caregiver, is that of discipline. You must agree on discipline measures or you will end up having to find another caregiver before you know it. If you do not spank your children for punishment, you surely do not want someone else to believe that they are allowed to spank them. In many cases, even if you and your spouse do occasionally spank your children, you may feel like that is your job only, because you do not want to allow a caregiver to give your children spankings when they are unmerited. Make sure that your caregiver knows that they are not permitted to give your child a spanking, and that they must use other forms of discipline such as time out. If you and your spouse spank your child for punishment, that is your own prerogative, but do not allow an outsider to spank your child. You do not know how hard they will spank your child, and what reasons they will have for doing it.

In closing, the key to having a successful relationship with your caregiver is up front and consistent communication. If you are troubled about something, you need to discuss the matter as soon as it happens, so that you can prevent it from happening again.

Posted on August 2nd, 2010 by Peter
Filed under: Home And Family | Comments Off

People are people and will continue to do so. Even our seemingly eternally patient and kind caregivers soon burn out. The symptoms of caregiver burnout are very similar to the symptoms of stress and depression. A few of them are:

- Withdrawal from friends, family and other loved ones.

- Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed.

- Feeling blue, irritable, hopeless and helpless.

- Changes in appetite, weight, or both.

- Changes in sleep patterns.

- Getting sick more often.

- Feelings of wanting to hurt yourself or the person for whom you are caring.

- Emotional and physical exhaustion.

- Irritability.

Posted on July 10th, 2010 by Peter
Filed under: Caregiving burnout | Comments Off

“Caregiving is one way for humans to learn about humanity. It is not only about simply doing for others. It is also about self acceptance and honest intentions.” Daniel Warner

Does your organization have a Corporate Caregiver? That is likely because you have never heard of one!

A Corporate Caregiver is a manager whose sole job function is to make certain that the employees of the company are cared for. This is done in a number of ways which collectively nurture, support and give value to each employee both personally and professionally.

Caregiving is a progressive new mindset for today’s fast-paced business. Including a management position of this nature in your company will prevent low employee morale and help stave off job burn-out as the Corporate Caregiver spends time teaching employees on how to have a healthy work/home balance and outlook on life.

The role of Corporate Caregiver as it relates to on-boarding new employees should include:

Taking them to lunch on their first day to introduce them to the company, its philosophies and to strike a personal connection; following up each day their first week to make sure they know their way around, have integrated into their department’s workflow and generally be their first “friend” in the company; following up weekly throughout their 90 day evaluation period to encourage feedback and suggestions; and, assisting in coordinating additional training should they become overwhelmed or have a feeling that they do not adequately understand their new responsibilities.

The feedback I have had from employees who have received the Corporate Caregiving experience has been phenomenal. The majority of them feel that the special emphasis that was placed on their importance as a new employee went the extra mile in not only assuring them that they made a great choice in joining the company, but in them wanting to perform at their peak every day in order to “give back.”

Employers today need to realize that employees have a lot of choices and they are no longer settling to just earn a paycheck. They want a quality experience and they want their employer to be genuinely interested in them. That is where your Corporate Caregiver can set your company apart from competitors competing for talent.

Once the employee has completed their 90 day evaluation period and both the employee and the company agree that they are a great match and commit to each other, the Corporate Caregiver’s role changes to that of an advocate – somewhat of a guidance counselor that you would confer with when you are feeling out of sorts or just needing some perspective – someone to listen without judgment and someone who has the ears of management when it becomes obvious that change needs to occur within the organization.

In addition to advocacy, the Corporate Caregiver should evaluate and implement programs that enhance customer service skills and provide personal development training. Two that I have used with great success is The Fred Factor by Mark Sanborn and Today Matters by John Maxwell.

The Corporate Caregiver does not have to have a degree in psychology. They only have to be kind, considerate, compassionate and understand the organization from both the employer and employee perspectives so they can bring the two together and have them work on the same team.

You may think that it is waste of money that could be spent toward the operation of the business, but I can assure you that allocating dollars to a Corporate Caregiving initiative will save you countless dollars by avoiding attrition. It is also important to understand that happy and well-balanced employees also yield dollars in the door from happy customers who are treated well by these individuals.

And of course the reverse is true. Bad morale is just bad for business!

Posted on July 10th, 2010 by Peter
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*Author’s note: Before he passed, Walter and I talked about my writing, and the fact that I had a blog specifically set up for my job of caring for him. He has given me permission to talk about any facet of his life, as long as it’s done respectfully and honestly. Honestly includes any information necessary to show facts.

Recently, I was blessed to become a caregiver for an elderly gentleman. Walter was 92 when we met, and we had six months together as man and caregiver before he passed away. The decision to take the job was easy: I needed an income, and it seemed like easy work. I quickly realized I had a lot to learn, both about the job of care giving and myself.

The first couple of months, Walter was still able to get around with a walker and did a decent job of dressing himself. His mind seemed sharp as ever, and he could still do some things for himself. He was very demanding though. I understood that he was always like that; that he was used to being taken care of, but I simply was not prepared for the magnitude of the demands. If I went home for an hour breather, the phone would be ringing before I even walked in the door. (I was a minute’s drive from his house).

A few months after I began taking care of him, he had to be admitted to the hospital for ulcer treatment and was then moved to the rehabilitation wing of a nursing home. He swiftly went downhill and, three weeks later when he came back home, he was bedridden. That’s when the real caregiving- and the learning- began.

My time with him went from part-time to 24/7. I was responsible for every aspect of his care- to include changing his diapers, bathing, moving him to change him and his clothes, sheets, feeding him and taking care of the house. Needless to say, one person simply cannot do 24/7 indefinitely. I ended up getting sick after a month and a week person was found, reducing my time when I recovered to just weekends.

By then, Walter’s demands were growing less and less by the week, and his care consisted of what he needed in bed. We could anticipate his needs and wants, and we were able to situate things around his house for quick and easy access. At first, we had home health come in, but near the end, we switched to Hospice which took care of his baths, and monitoring his health and other functions we could not.

There’s much more to care giving than just sitting with a person, as many organizations do. We were paid $2 an hour for around-the-clock-care, and performed some duties a hospital staff or nursing home staff would. Professional sitters generally are paid $10-15 an hour, and simply sit with a person while the family gets some relief which gets very expensive. There’s no diaper changing, lifting, bathing, changing like there was with us.

The man who worked during the week was there for the pay, albeit not much, but he got paid a decent weekly check just the same. At first, I was there for the pay as well, because it was a necessity, but I quickly became attached to Walter and, in spite of some frustrations, loved my job.

I’m an extremely impatient person, but caring for Walter showed me how to put my own issues on a back burner to put his needs first. I forgot about nearly every aspect of my life when I was with him, because nothing mattered except him. When it was my time off, I was more calm and sometimes better able to face my life. I also learned it’s extremely important to remember lessons we’ve learned and always work to apply them- even years later. That’s still a struggle for me, and I have to admit that. It’s not an overnight epiphany turned resolution.

I hold much anger within me, and explode on a regular basis. With Walter, somehow I was able to keep my anger in check. I reminded myself until I got it that it wasn’t Walter’s fault that he was helpless in a bed and completely dependent upon others for his very life. I also – and still do- keep telling myself that I take for granted what he dearly wished for, and that was the ability to move around and to come and go as I wished. Walter was an extremely active person his entire life, and to be bedridden suddenly was something he managed to accept with grace. That’s hard for anyone to do, especially for people with personalities like ours, and he did it well. I learned my life could be so much worse. And again- I still have my daily struggles, but every day I think of Walter, and the lessons help temper my anger.

My whole life for the past ten years has been the internet. I’d go to work, come home, throw something together for the kids, and go online until I went to bed- always very late. When I was with Walter, I didn’t care about the internet, in fact, I had the ability to bring my computer to his house on the weekends, but chose not to, because I much preferred to care for him. I learned to put someone else’s needs before my wants, and that was a huge reward in itself. I could go home after two days and do what I wanted; Walter would never have that ability again, and I never forgot that.

Care giving is not an easy job. It requires dedication, willingness to put someone else above you at all times while on the job, compassion, empathy, respect, and a sincere desire to help someone else. Depending upon the situation, it may require physical strength and stamina, good health, and a personal life which normally wouldn’t interfere with caregiving duties. By that I mean a caregiver cannot just up and leave to attend to something which couldn’t wait for later, and if leaving is necessary, it should be done on a very rare basis. Caregiving requires a certain amount of feelings for the person being cared for, and a good relationship is a must, especially if the person is nearly or completely dependent on your for their needs.

Care giving is a huge sacrifice, is hard work, and very exhausting, but the rewards are big. What you take out of care giving is up to you, but if you pay attention, are there for all the right reasons, and truly love your care giving job, you’ll never regret or forget your experience.

Posted on July 6th, 2010 by Peter
Filed under: Health And Fitness | Comments Off

In the past, when a family caregiver needed to provide increased amount of time and care, to keep the aging senior at home, it was expected that they would do so in spite of any financial or emotional sacrifice. Aging baby boomers are changing that expectation and many are doing it out of necessity.

A family caregiver contract is a legal contract in which a family member is paid to care for the aging senior member of the family. Once an unspeakable or even unthinkable topic, there is a growing interest in the family caregiver contract.

As the aging population is living longer, baby boomers are facing caring for aging parents. Many are providing this care as they plan for their own retirement. Elder law estate attorneys are reporting an increase in interest in a formalized family agreement.

With the recent economy and new regulations regarding the qualifications for Medicaid, families are exploring creative solutions to providing care for the aging senior in their life. Caring for an aging parent can involve time, emotional and financial sacrifices. Providing care can involve many years of commitment and dedication. Families are exploring options so that they can provide the quality care the aging senior deserves. Many do not want to suffer the financial consequences or losses of providing that care, even though there may be tax consequences to the income they receive.??????

The top 6 reasons a family caregiver contract makes sense when a caregiver is needed:

The first and foremost important aspect is that the aging senior will be provided care by a familiar person, not a stranger. Many aging seniors find comfort in having a trusted and caring family member provide support and care for them as they age. With the Medicaid guidelines changing, and the “look back” period extended to 5 years? (soon to be 7 years), families are trying to investigate ways to save what they perceive as their inheritance.? Money paid by the aging senior to a son or daughter for services they provide is not perceived as a “gift” by the system when applying for Medicaid or other public services. It is important to note here that an agreement must be put into place before services are provided. You cannot go back and collect money for care provided after the fact. The system when considering assets for Medicaid will view that money given as a gift. A formalized contract drawn up by an elder law attorney can help ease the tension and resentment that occurs between siblings and other extended family members. The attorney can act as a buffer between family members and make the tracking of the aging senior’s finances available to all involved. A contract clearly will determine who is getting paid, how much and for what services. An elder law attorney’s involvement can reduce the family arguments and tension between family members with clear cut rules and expectations they set forth in the agreement. A fourth benefit of having a written agreement is the prevention of the caregiver and the aging seniors finances becoming entangled, which is so often the case with many family members that provide care. It becomes difficult to determine who paid for what. Over time, family caregivers become resentful and even angry at the financial loss. Having an agreement in place can prevent that from becoming a problem. Many aging seniors are finding the present housing market downturn has affected their ability to sell their house, or for what it was worth. This has caused many aging seniors to rethink their options of moving into a retirement community. Utilizing a family caregiver agreement, they are paying their younger family members to provide care in their home. This can be considered a form of family long term care insurance. The family provides care, receives a modest reimbursement for their services and the aging seniors benefit from remaining in familiar surroundings and receiving quality care. This is a win -win proposition for both parties. With a written agreement, the caregiver can identify what they can and cannot do. The aging senior can express what expectations they have about the care. It is all clearly stated and in writing so there are no surprises or unrealistic expectations.When a family caregiver needed a breather or break from their duties, without a formalized agreement, many had no back up plan. They felt too guilty or ashamed that they wanted, needed or even deserved a break.

A family caregiver contract should address those issues and be part of the agreement. A family caregiver agreement may not sound appealing but for some families is does make sense.

Posted on June 20th, 2010 by Peter
Filed under: Home And Family | Comments Off

Caregiving for a family member is sometimes a full time responsibility that you often lose track of friends and other relationships which results in your isolation. This isolation is not healthy both for the care receiver and the caregiver because this often muddles the point of view of the caregiver in competently assessing the needs of the care recipient.

Adopting a buddy system is often the best solution to the isolation problem. The support aspect provided by this system allows the care giver to be always in shape and with a good perspective on the type of care he provides for the individual. A friend, a neighbor or another member of the family can serve as a buddy to better provide care.

Posted on June 10th, 2010 by Peter
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Alzheimer’s disease, the leading cause of why families normally need to hire professional caregivers, has been thoroughly studied by some German and Canadian experts. They thought of it as a curse before and it never really dawned on them that it could be cured – not until 2002. Yes, the doctors have found a way to cure this impenetrable disease.

Prior to 2002, doctors have developed a vaccine for Alzheimer’s patients but after it failed (15 test patients said that they experienced severe head aches after they were vaccinated), the research was stopped. The group of doctors said that they made some modifications to the vaccine and will hope that it’ll work to humans (we hope too!).

Photo taken from http://img.dailymail.co.uk

Posted on May 10th, 2010 by editor
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